How to Allow Your Core Values To Be Your Guiding Light But Not Cast A Shadow On Your Experiences

Core values are the part of you that drives your actions and desires.

Your combination of core values are unique to you, but actual core values themselves, can be found in other people. You usually like hanging out with other people who have the same or similar core values as you.  When you find a friend that “gets you” chances are you share the same combination of core values.

It would be awesome if we lived in a world where we only had to hang out with others like us, but we don’t.  We live in a world where when we bump up against someone with different values our strings can really get yanked!!

I have a beautiful example to share with you. It happened last week at my daughter’s wedding.

I had an expected visual for this beautiful wedding on a “private” beach. Can you close your eyes and see that visual?

Now, my expectation for a private beach was different from the hotel’s private beach which was really a public beach. (Imagine that…a hotel misrepresenting themselves!)

What I noticed later was that the misrepresentation was a huge conflict for me to overcome.  I felt very strongly that the venue should correct the situation!! Only, one problem. It was 30 minutes before the wedding ceremony!! The “public” beach was covered with sunbathers. I struggled with my core value of honesty as I realized they would be part of the “uninvited guest list”.

A friend at the wedding who had the same core value of honesty supported me as I stressed over the situation.

But, there was no resolution by the hotel for the situation before the wedding was to take place.

Now, I could have let my core value of honesty cast a shadow over this beautiful day. But I didn’t! Why? Because the situation didn’t disturb her at all!! She was beautiful and thoroughly enjoyed the experience!

What I want you to understand, is this. Core values are our friends, but they can also be part of creating the problem. By understanding who you are and what your values are contribute to creating a stress free life.

It was just as important for me to see that my honesty core value was creating great stress in me when I was put in a situation that I could not control the outcome.

Two days later I can see the picture much clearer. While I still don’t agree with the hotel’s misrepresentation, I must realize that the situation was much more stressful to me because of my honesty value. It is the understanding of the importance of that value that affected the memory of the ceremony that day for me.

I had a decision to make. Accept the situation or not at that time. I did accept it and the wedding was beautiful!! It was a wedding under the Sea Grape Tree!!